"I learned that when boarding a relatively crowded 6 train and scrambling for the car that appears oddly empty, it's empty because it smells of a perfect mixture of cat piss and dried human feces. You should get out of that car quickly before you pass out under the benches."
This is from an old archive. I was dating Mellody at the time, living in Puerto Rico, and visited NYC to see her (she was away at school.)
Originally Posted February 26th, 2007.
I find Manhattan to be infinitely more amusing than Puerto Rico as a whole. I find these words rather shocking as I write them seeing how excited I was about moving to Puerto Rico. I'm certainly excited, mind you, absolutely grateful for my stay there.
I can reasonably say that I have a splendid time in Puerto Rico. BUT... But, I mean it sounds completely illogical to complain about daily 80 degree weather, and beautiful water splashing around every corner of the Island as you drive around, but really, where's the break. Is that the break? Is it just one long tropical vacation? Obviously certain locals would argue that Puerto Rico is much more than a vacation destination, and I totally agree with them. In all reality my dissatisfaction most likely lays with some other internal issue that I'm pretty sure I have a good bead on; it's just not worth taking up people's time going into the psycho babble of misplaced yearnings for something barely out of your reach.
For more concrete reasons, take the following:
- Last night on the shuttle from Times Square I was offered 25 Polos at a dollar a piece! They still had the tags on them; freshly robbed from the dry-cleaners as the musty smelling man mumbling to himself at our side continued on as he adjusted the four large garbage bags of aluminum cans that he barely squeezed through the train door.
- I learned that when boarding a relatively crowded 6 train and scrambling for the car that appears oddly empty, it's empty because it smells of a perfect mixture of cat piss and dried human feces. You should get out of that car quickly before you pass out under the benches.
- I've been hit up for money by a man named Moses, lacking any concept of the American Space Bubble, three days in a row with the same story each time, three different locations.
- I saw two dozen orthodox Jewish men dancing circles arm in arm in the middle of Broadway while everyone else was tucking their chins into their chests trying to dodge the freezing weather.
- I explored some seedy buildings on the dark side of Fifth Ave, trying to sell a gold ring of mine, with an energetic man, who had little good to say about people of Asian descent, leading the way, who I thought was Polish but ended up speaking Spanish with me at the end of our adventure that I was sure would end with a dead tourist.
- I had a bartender on 9 Ave and 48th St, the outskirts of Hell's Kitchen, refuse to give me my Abita beer until I said please, and last night I walked through the snow enjoying the hell out of my 8 dollar ear muffs.
The entire stay has been the most fulfilling and satisfying trip that I've ever had away from home. That's most likely due in part to the fact that I haven't called one particular place a home for a while; New York offers a place for the heart of almost anyone. Additionally, everything above has been experienced not far from, if not with, my wonderful girlfriend. She threw me in front of one of those cameras in Times Square that superimpose the picture of the two of you kissing in front of the Times Square marquees and pastes it on the New York magazine cover; you gotta know that's love ;) When cheesiness becomes an acceptable cuteness, within reason, you've stumbled upon a great one!
To balance all of this happy bubble with an opposing force: it's so damn cold out here!
...it really is kind of refreshing though. I can dig it.
I moved to New York a year later.